"Again?"

We have a rule in our house, no one works two jobs no matter what.  Plain and simple.  Of course this is null and void if the jobs are paying you $8 and hour. But if we are in our career and we are gainfully employed there is to be no second jobs.  The way we see it extras do not come in material objects or new clothes they come in time with the family. Or as B sees it time with Daddy.

There have been many ups and downs through our relationship but we have come to realize that no object can trump that smile on a park outing or even that throw of a pillow on a lazy day.  Now this is not to say there have not been moments where we want more or think we need more that the idea has come up but the rule is if we want more we need to reevaluate our lives but if there is truly a need it has to come from somewhere else. 

Now our jobs are different things.  Todd works away from the home and I work in the home.  He gains a paycheck and I keep our kids alive.  We have teetered with the idea of me working again but it is not in the cards right now.  However if a  need arose I would certainly return to the paid workforce prior to him ever considering a second job. 

With all this said and followed with in our home imagine how I felt when B asked for daddy and I had to inform him he was working and his response, "AGAIN?".  To say Todd has been working alot lately is an understatement.  He is under the gun with a new role and new deadlines and I could not be happier that he is happy and enjoying a new role at work.  But on the flip man does B miss daddy.

In that moment he was actually working from home so it was easy enough to walk to him and say time for  a break.  But there have certainly been times when I want to yell at the phone for yet another late night. 

It is funny how we as Americans measure success in the money we make and the items we have.  I actually don't quite get it now that I have two littles buying for my time and for daddy.  It broke my heart that B saw Todd working in the evening as a burden to him. 

I mean I knew he valued his bedtime routine with Daddy but I do not think I realized that at such a young age he knew that he was the one getting jipped, so to speak.  In that moment I knew things needed to change and so they have.

While obviously Todd has to work and work hard he now also has to take a break to spend that one on one time with B.  Of course if there is no way he can be at home due to a meeting or a deadline that day it is ok but then we need to make a special effort later in the week or on the weekend.  And special may mean extra time in the back yard or watching a football game together.

But for all intensive purposes if he is home then Daddy must be Daddy and tuck him in and spend the time he so thoroughly craves playing their games.  No ifs ands or buts about it.  We made a commitment to have these children and they come first.  Whether or not that means I get a little less hubby time or he gets a little less sleep we are adults and we understand it and know that it is not a punishment or because we are not loved.

I think it was truly in that "Again?" moment I realized how much of a sponge they are and how much our babies could care less about having the neatest toy but just want us.  Ya, ya we hear it all the time, spend time with your kids that is all they want.  But the fact of the matter is just like any other lesson, until you realize it is your baby who is missing out or who is feeling second you don't really worry too much about it. 

While we thought we had done such a great job implementing the no second job rule we fell short in the dont let your career ever trump your child.  I think this is something we will have to work on but I am proud of us to say the least that we nipped it in the butt.  Because honestly I would give up the newer home, newer cars, extra toys and clothes to never have to feel the way I did walking out of the room that night. 

Family is the most important thing and 10 years from now you bet B will remember the 30 minutes a night Todd did or didn't spend with him over the new toy that the overtime or a second job would earn. 

Cause lets be real, don't you????