There comes a point in every activity, investigation whatever where you know to quit, to stop, to take stock and enjoy, mourn or even just experience whatever you are facing. We are there, I am there.
Recently our daughter has had some issues and concerns. She has had testing, hospital stays, countless doctor appointments and been poked and prodded with the best of them. But we decided we are done, at least for a long while
Last week I went to my husband telling him I felt like she was not getting a chance to just be herself. I was concerned that she didn't need the upcoming tests but we knew she needed to go through them to rule out some concerns. We had previously taken a 6-8 week break but that is not what I was talking about. I wanted to be done, for months.
After 2 days in the hospital and seeing how miserable she was we made the call and made sure we were heard. We first waited to hear that there was not a dire need for a medication or treatment and then we politely asked to go home.
We are now home and the first thing we did was talk about plans to go to Disney next weekend. See it is not about ignoring all that we have been through in the last 33 weeks but to really decide it is time to live and enjoy.
I know some may disagree with our decision for taking a permanent time out but her health as of right now is not at stake. And while she may not be thriving like your child does she is thriving for her. This is ok with us. This is what we want her to continue to do.
I keep feeling like when we get asked the results of this past weekend and what is next and we say nothing it has to be followed up with an explanation. But really it is our choice as her parents and her advocates.
Some would say this is the easy route. But I assure you turning a blind eye to something a doctor has showed concern over or has asked you to watch is anything but easy. Not running to her when she is shaking and may be seizing is not natural but it something we will work on daily.
Make no mistake we will be watching for anything major and will call the doctors or even 911 if necessary but its time for her to thrive and grow and show us what she is capable of. We figure we will continue to respect her needs by continuing to recognize her limitations that could affect her health or comfort but we will not wait or look for the next thing she cant do, doesn't do or even does different.
I just put her down for a nap and let me tell you she is grimy and dirty and over tired. I looked at her and thought I should wash her up and then I decided not to. There was something so "normal" and "typical" in the mess that was on her face and the silly hair she had going on. I know it doesn't seem like a big moment or feat but to just let her be and crawl away was a huge step for me.
We have to give ourselves permission to know best for our selves our children and anything and everyone we are responsible for. Others may not like it or get it but they do not have to.
Tara, I think you are doing the right thing for YOUR family and that's what is important. Working around sick people, and sick kids a lot, everyone handles sickness differently. If your doctor had concerns, they will tell you. Otherwise let your sweet little girl go live her life. Some parents think they should keep their kids in a bubble but even though they're sick, they're still kids. They need those experiences.
ReplyDeleteHope to see some pics from Disney!